September 13, 2016 | 4:34:00 PM | 0 vanilla(s)
I always have a soft spot for mystery things. Things that are concealed, kept as hidden. They intrigue my interest. I like things that are unusual, or sometimes might be seen as troubled, odd, or things that are underappreciated . I love things that are not too direct. Things that have somewhat like an imaginary wall around them where you have to put a little thinking or feeling to actually comprehend it. I do not fancy things that are too mainstream or in trend although they are undoubtedly good. I am not against them, it's just not my preference and I don't have issues on people who are into them.
By the way this is not an emo post of "You know my name not my story" "You don't know my life" "Welcome to my misery" "You can't see tears behind my fake smile" and stuff
lol What I simply mean is that, this is not an emotional rant to show how I love hidden things because I want people to discover the exceptionally beautiful soul within me behind that fake smile under the rain or whatsoever because that is so 2009 and very corny , seriously xD On an unrelated note,yes I have a beautiful soul, HAHAHA thanks.
You know one of those nights where you are on your bed, you just cannot sleep and suddenly all information in this universe runs through your mind
where it is the best time to regret all decisions you have made in life HAHA. Well it happened to me recently, and I finally realised that almost every actions, decisions, choices I made boils down to this one fact -- I love things that are hidden.
I did not quite really notice it before. I mean, I realise my preference is always contrasting from people. And that is not because I intentionally want to be different to show how superior I am as an individual. It just occurs naturally. And it's not something to be proud of either. I listen to songs that people don't really listen to, my clothes are all VERY outdated, I would not hesitate to try weird food (most of the time I usually end up liking them tho some do not taste nice). I always thought my preference is different because I'm just weird.
People who are close with me would know how weird my taste is. My mom would always make this "I knew it" face every time we would have meals outside because I would order food I never tried. The harder it is to pronounce it, the more I want to try it. And I always get that "Pelek pelek sokmo, tahu doh" xD. My friend, Ipy (oh ipy if you're reading this, HAI ! xD) warned me not to pick the weird soup base (chinese ginseng something if I'm not mistaken) when we were about to eat at Seoul Garden because she just knows me so well. Ohhhh ohh ohhh and that one time in uni, it was exam week so naturally people would buy from vending machine. People would usually opt for coffee or Milo but I tried every single type of beverages available and seriously they tasted weird (you can't expect a nice cup of juice for 90cents). So when I was at the vending machine once with my friend, she said something like " Haaa dah tak payah pilih yang pelik, membazir duit tak sedap". I lol'd harder that I should because I did not expect she would notice it xD
When it comes to clothes, I generally like t-shirts. For me, they fit almost every occasions if picked wisely (which is rarely done by me because I wear the same thing everyday lol) . So back in secondary school, I was in a satisfactorily religious environment, so when it comes to t-shirt, we have this innovation (lol) called T-shirt Muslimah, (basically a normal t-shirt, but longer to bring out the Muslimah image (?) ). I don't know if that's the correct definition, it's just a normal t-shirt but longer to cover yourself better. Back then I was an avid fan of those T-shirt Muslimah lol xD But without realising why and how, I grew up not liking them as much as I did before. I did not notice it until my mom pointed it out for me. Then I realised, I do not like them now. Not in a way of "I HATE YOU AND I WILL NEVER WEAR YOU FOREVER". I don't know. I just don't really fancy the direct theme brought by it anymore. What I mean is, I don't like the idea of "because you are a muslimah, you have to wear muslimah shirt". Usually those T-shirts have "Iman adalah penyeri" "Aku adalah pejuang" "Kesabaran adalah permata..etc" kind of printing on them, which is undeniably good message to be conveyed, but I just don't fancy it anymore, not that I'm being a rebel. I don't know whether not liking it anymore is a good or bad thing. Now I am more towards normal or plain T-shirts, without obvious printing, but still long, big and comfy enough to cover myself. After it was pointed out by my mom then only I realised, as I grow older I like things that are hidden even when it comes to clothes. In this case it's the " you don't necessarily have to wear muslimah t-shirts to become or appear as one". But of course any of these does not mean I am against people who wear it, it's a personal preference so it should not be a problem.
These are like few insignificant examples on how I came into conclusion that I actually love things that are hidden. It would be a lengthy boring post if I were to list each and every details about it. Up until this moment, I still don't know whether it's a good or bad thing. Probably it's driven by my current environment, personality or characters. It could change any time. And the reason I'm posting this is because I think it is something worth to be remembered. Who knows I might change again one day, and if so, this is one of my self discovery that I would like to reminisce --- I have a thing on mystery thing, and the reason why I love them,up until now, is still also a mystery.