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I remember
May 12, 2017 | 11:05:00 PM | 0 vanilla(s)

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I don't know what description would suit the whole thing best. It is hard to even decide where to start. I am writing this to collect my own thoughts, because they are now in a great clutter, occupying random spaces of my mind.  I decided to write. I'll just keep on writing and see how it goes, hoping I would find solace. 

I ponder back at these last few years. A lot of things have changed. And it is amazing how the reminiscent always converge to one particular portion. A portion in which oblivion is desired, but much to my dismay, it never did. 

Ever heard of the word labyrinth? I choose the word as the best way to describe it.

Labyrinth is defined in many ways. Connecting passages, intricate constructions or complex networks. Which boils down to one basic concept. It's a maze. And in a maze, you are always prone to, getting lost.

Like a labyrinth, I was never sure. Trapped in this constant confusion, it is terrifying to even articulate all the possibilities.

I never knew what was the real occasion behind it. Was it even real? Was it a prank? Or was it a mistake? I do not mind the answer. I just need one. If it was real I am sorry for the way it ended. I am sorry for never acknowledging the courage. For never showing any appreciation behind every effort. If it was a mistake, I am also sorry. However I am happy, because a mistake means it was once for real. It just didn't work. If it was a prank I would have forgiven and thank you regardless, for I have learned my own lesson too throughout these years. I just need an answer.

And like a labyrinth, all these questions are always there. I just don't have enough courage to ask, after what I did. I used to blame myself. For cutting it off, for ending it all. I was not thinking right. It is still the right thing to do, but just not the way I did. And I guess I deserve the unspoken goodbye.


They said brain does not remember everything. It chooses only what is important.  I guess you are important.  


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Nur Alya Aqilah Binti Hassan A former student of SMKA Sheikh Abdul Malek, Kuala Terengganu. Perfectly imperfect. Abnormally obsessed with F O O D and was born on 28th of June 1996
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